Why Your Child's Bedtime Routine Matters (and what to include in it)

Chances are, if you've been Googling how to help your baby or child sleep better, you've seen a lot about the bedtime routine. There are a few good reasons for that! A consistent, solid bedtime routine serves many purposes. It winds your child down and helps him settle into sleep, it provides multiple cues that it's time for your child to sleep, and most importantly, it gives your child the chance to have your undivided attention, and to deeply connect with you. 

When your bedtime routine is consistent each night, it has even more benefits. Consistency means that your child knows exactly what to expect, leaving little room for uncertainty and maximizing efficiency (in the best possible way). Consistency also helps you provide boundaries that help your child feel secure and keep your bedtime routine moving in the right direction. For older toddlers, preschoolers and big kids, having a set routine also means that they aren't asking for new elements to do each night because they know that the routine is what they are going to do.  This can go a long way when it comes to keeping procrastination efforts at bay. 

Here's what your bedtime routine might look like at different ages:

When it comes to 2.5-7 year-olds, you may also want to build in a little extra time to connect with your child. At the very beginning of the bedtime routine, take 10 minutes for some fun. Share a special (healthy) bedtime snack and snuggle and chat while you eat, have a dance party, build with blocks, play a board game, color, etc. Making a list of options for your child to choose with and setting a timer so your child knows when it's time to move on can both help this connection time go smoothly. The most important part? No phone allowed! 

Another element you may want to consider is a sensory regulation activity or two. This might include things such as a tight, 1-minute hug, pushing around a full laundry basket, safely squishing your child's body between two pillows (not their head), or sitting with your child in your lap and rocking onto your back and up again. Each of these activities should be closely supervised, and parental discretion is advised to ensure safety. 

If bedtime or sleep are a struggle for your child, take a few minutes to think about your bedtime routine and ask yourself these questions: 

• Does it last 20-45 minutes? 

• Does it include the same elements each night?

• Could your child tell the routine to a family member or move from one step to the next without being told what to do? 

• Does it provide time to snuggle and / or talk about the day?

• Does it provide plenty of cues that it's time to sleep?

• Is your attention solely focused on your child? 

• Is it early enough that your baby isn't falling asleep while eating or that your child isn't becoming super hyperactive during the routine? 

If your answer to any of these is "no", make a few tweaks and see how it affects your child's bedtime and sleep. Interested in other ways to support your child's sleep before trying sleep training? Download my free guide, "3 Things You Can Start Tonight to Improve Your Child's Sleep (without sleep training)." Your baby or child CAN be a great sleeper! Let me show you how to get there.